Happiness

Ankit gave me a call today, and I was surprised to hear his voice for it was so long that we spoke.It took some time, for reality to sink in.We were fast friends in college and throughout our time in Reliance, we shared similar life experiences & kept  good relationship.It wouldn't be wrong if I say he was my best friend. Later, he took to pursue his MBA and I to Civil Service preparation.And my self imposed solitary life changed things  around.I have only myself to blame for not keeping in touch with my friends.

However, after hearing from him my happiness had no leaps and bounds.Suddenly, I wished I was back in BIT Mesra, hostel 5B, where we had shared neighboring rooms.Those movies, early walks to college, talks- chit chats ..entire gamut of activities. all seems as if, it just happened yesterday.

Hope to seen him when he comes back to India.

A new begining

bygones are bygones.

And here I am to start everything afresh.

End of my life.

Touched new low in life

1. Resigned from good paying job
2.Did not clear Civil Service prelims for which I have been studying since a long time.
3.lost confidence in continuing any further
4.Financially very unstable back home

Badly fucked up with life.

fallacy of Natural science

Why is natural science an ever evolving revered field of study??

Probably its because proponents of science believe that its has a self corrective mechanism and therefore, cannot hide the truth from revealing itself for all times.

But , then what is this self corrective mechanism???

The procedure adopted that verifiable truth only can be incorporated as science and also by premising its discoveries with mathematical equations.

These mathematical equations and backing often tends to opine/create  truth absolute.

Absoluteness is something that cannot be attained and its unnatural.

However, with  time scientist are obsessed with creating absolute mathematical model and empirical proposition.

And, consequently are trapped in the vicious circle of finding the absolute, but , the fact of the matter is the absolute is non attainable.

No, I'm not being pessimist but  realistically absoluteness is absent.

Therefore, mathematical representation, backing  science holds no real sense.

The more one falls on mathematics for answer the more he is trapped in the limbo of unattainable.

july 17th, 2012

Indian Middle class

Jagdish bhagwati and Arving panagariya in a syndicated article "the bell tolls for congress party" writes that the aggrieved middle class will vote out the congress in 2014.They perceive that the middle class feels that their economic interest is threatened by  ill governance and corruption and this will manifest as angry votes that will push out congress.

No one can categorically say that middle class in India is a homogeneous group.Infact it is layered with high degree of caste and community characteristics- commonly know as "identity politics".

But, if shedding these traditional differences if they vote on economic understanding of the situation, then one can definitely say the celebrated authors were right.

Simultaneously, it also means that our so called middle class is better informed and evolved citizens then.Having said that, is then this elated scenario due to the efforts of the ruled government for the last 5 years.For, its because of them this portion of India tasted the fruits of economic prosperity.If that is true should you vote them out ??

Considering the global gloomy economic scenario and coalition limitation of the government, can't we excuse the congress for the slump? And, about corruption, we need Lokpal- an independent body.This is beyond party and any election. 

Is 21st century- "century of GAS" ??


With the advancement of technology more and more unconventional gas reserves are discovered and exploited for daily use."Shale gas" is the main contender on this unconventional segment.US has large reserve of it and is utilising it to the maximum as an alternate fuel.

IAE reports that the gas reserve has double since a decade and prospect looks extremely positive.It would definitely reduce pressure on oil.

But, transportation and storage are problems regarding gas.It is also capital intensive when thinking of liquifying it or developing a pipeline network.

Because of these reason, presently, the gas market is regional and restricted to customers who make long term contract commitment.

However, with time distance and worries of this kind would reduce.This is precisely the reason IEA is so bullish about the gas industry.Moreover, it is environment friendly.


China Model of development

Is the Chinese model of alternative development  worth replicating ?. A Chinese scholar calls it civilisational state  and some say it is appreciable balance between free market system and a fully state controlled system.

For the last 30 years china has been recording amazing growth.But, of late, it is cooling down.As the other major Asian economies, which experienced growth and then flattened, china has also entered this phase.

 Laws pertaining to de-listing of companies

 1.Securities contract(regulation) act 1956-SCRA
 2.Companies Act 1956



 

And, finally, that's it.

Have I reached there.

is it right to call it, a thoughtful give up?

does this lazy period meant, I am not meant to be there?

probably, its too much pot-holes to be filled.

And, I give up- can't read anymore.

I want to live.

I need to find some incentive to live.I need to reclaim my lost goals and desire.I need my life back.

I want to live...

No bakwas.Back to life.

Whom are you fooling around?. You had a dream to serve the nation. You had a dream to be an civil service officer.You left the job for that.You took up the challenge in Delhi.But, now you are down because no one bothers to call you.Hence, you feel lonely here.Stop this bullshit will you and get on with life.

If you have dream protect it.And, stop giving lame reasons.Its up to you to do it or not and take responsibility for your failure. And, own your failures.

Folly Affirmations

"I will never give up".
"I am determined and committed"

All affirmation of this genre are easy to profess and difficult to live with.One would need an indomitable spirit of confidence and composure, which is a rarity and one who own it, makes it large.

So as I hit the new low of my life, I stand alone.No regret.

Between, today I downloaded my e-admit card.Have chalked out a macro plan till exams.Importantly, I have to gain back my lost mind.I need to believe that, for whatever happens I will have to fight it out alone.

Also, I need to think about a Plan-B. No, its not a sign of paucity of self-belief but just being thoughtful of the surprises life can throw at you.

Feels a lot better than last two days.I spoke to Appa and Ammi. Infact, they are the only one's (also my sister) who have stood besides me at all odds.

Have to also improve on my reading and comprehension skills if I have to compete at any level.As I push myself more to study, I understand my reading skills wobble and I fail to comprehend what I read and further, my mind gets lost in some random thoughts.

I know it sounds like some psychological problem.However, I need to get get around it as soon as possible.

Relinquishing The Hindu has also affected me adversely. I have to make it habit to atleast read the online editorials.

How I wish I was back to me normal best with a composed mind.

Internet has also had it pound of flesh.I have to utilize it, rather than using it as a option to vent off my stress. 


Between, spend some time on facebook. Tellingly, it is marriage season.One of my school friend Govind says "since his intelligence has touched new low level he decides to marry".I wonder what really he wanted to prove with such propositions.Anyhow, different people has different thoughts and as a rational being we should respect all view points.


So thats it pretty much for the day.And, long night awaits me, let me try making it little bit productive.

Bye for now. 

     

Himalaya to Climb

When I started on this journey I felt I would complete it with ease.Now, things have started to change. I feel lost in this ocean.

Kannan Chettan was right. He said " its a long journey and get support from wherever u can".

Sadly, I don't have the habit asking for help even if badly required.This is something inherent in me.

I think I should say good bye to my recluse life at Delhi and get back home.