Quater life Crisis

This blog is intriguingly dedicated to me. I know if I want to see a guy who has absolutely no aim in life, all I need to do is look into the mirror.

Sad, though, is the truth. The other day I was letting my friend know that I really can’t find happiness in my life; he taunted me, for he always found me as a convoluted confused person. To overcome my lassitude I wrote a poem (LOST) to find no respite.

I reckon, I have rammed into a tall, dead- end wall. Collided head-on and fallen flat down on the ground. Subsequently, I have woken up to this moment where I have lost the fizz of life. Life looks so pale. My lungs refuses to breath otherwise it bribes me to breath this lonely monotonous insipid life.

I really can’t find what in life that I am looking for. What will quench my thirst? Lost, completely lost in this complex equation called life.

How on earth can someone become so blank? How can one run out of thoughts and everyday thinking? How can one just not socialize and hide oneself in that single room of his? How can one just defy his inner instincts?

On a war footing I need to find answers to these questions or else I would slip into an incurable depression.

My mind is so whimsical; it wobbles like a pendulum. IAS and CAT are at the two extremes. My current job is in the mid way, somewhere in the mean position. I need to stop this life choking dynamism of my mind.

To clear Civil Service I need to put in at-least a year’s hard work (humongous task- no joke).It certainly demands a full time preparation. For that I need to leave my Job. My financial and family scenario is so unfavorable that if I quit my job, it is like committing suicide. Even a naïve kid would refuse to do this (if he was in my place).

And CAT- MBA is for quick brains. This sluggish brain would take decades to compete. But, then there is a dormant zeal for MBA somewhere in me.

Tellingly, I don’t know what to go for.what to look for.Lack the clarity of thought & vision.

May be this is what some thinker’s call the “quarter life crisis”.

Time is running out, need to find a solution.